


Losing Home

by GrapefruitSpritzer



Series: Finding... [3]
Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Mild Sexual Content, Prequel, Rated M just in case
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 17:19:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17329217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrapefruitSpritzer/pseuds/GrapefruitSpritzer
Summary: Willy and Ellen were the perfect couple. Well, they would be, if Willy didn't spend his entire existence at sea. Lonely and miserable, the two young lovers must make some difficult decisions about their future together - or apart.





	1. Reunion

**Author's Note:**

> OC Ellen is the mother of the farmer (Estelle) from the main fic in this series, Finding Home Again. This is a prequel to that story, giving more insight into the relationship between her and Willy before Estelle was born.
> 
> This is a standalone fic though, so you don't need to have read Finding Home Again to follow along here. Hope you enjoy!

“I’m leaving for the beach Dad!” Ellen called, skipping down the porch steps and hurrying towards the path to town. If she was lucky, she’d make it out of sight before he looked up from his work. There was no way in hell he would let her out of the house wearing the skirt she had on.

Part of her felt bad for not helping him. Her old man wasn’t a spring chicken anymore, and he’d been breaking his back clearing the fields all day in preparation for sowing the autumn crops. On the other hand, she knew he wouldn’t accept her help even if she offered. Ellen loved the Dance of the Moonlight Jellies, and he’d work until he passed out in the dirt before he let her miss them on account of the farm. The wonderful, stubborn bastard.

Though, it wasn’t the jellies she was excited for tonight – it was Willy. He’d finally come home that afternoon from a 6 week stint on the Gem Sea, and saying she missed him was the understatement of the century. She was _aching_ to see him, every cell in her body lit up with the sweet anticipation of being in his arms again.

The sicker his grandfather got, the longer Willy had to spend at sea to keep their business afloat, and the distance was killing Ellen. They’d never spent so much time apart, even before they started dating, and she hadn’t realized how dependent she’d become on him over the years. He was her best friend, her confidant, the love of her life…and now he was gone more often than he was home.

It was selfish – she knew this wasn’t his fault – but Yoba, she didn’t know how much longer she could take it.

“Oh no you don’t!” her father’s voice boomed from the field. “Get back in that house and put some clothes on right this second young lady!”

Ellen sighed, turning around and trudging back to the house resignedly. She’d been so damn close too.

She arrived at the beach twenty minutes later, donning a pair of thick tights under her skirt – a compromise she’d barely gotten away with – and immediately booked it for the shop at the end of the pier. Knowing Willy, he was either cleaning the store or cleaning his catch, and she desperately hoped it was the former. No matter how many times she watched, she never got used to seeing him ripping the spines out of formerly living creatures. Way too macabre for her taste.

His head popped up as the door opened with a bang, and Ellen couldn’t hold back her squeal of excitement at seeing his gorgeous face right there in front of her again. She raced across the store, vaulting over the counter to fling herself at him with absolutely no regard for propriety. He stumbled backwards as he caught her, wrapping his arms around her waist as tightly as hers were around his neck, clinging desperately to each other.

Willy buried his face in her hair and inhaled deeply. “You smell so good,” he murmured, his warm breath tickling her ear.

“You smell like fish guts,” she teased, dusting a line of kisses from the crook of his neck up to his jaw.

Willy chuckled, taking her face in his hands and pulling back enough to look in her eyes. “Yoba, I missed you.”

“Missed you more,” she replied softly as he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers.

The kiss was sweet but full of longing, conveying their feelings for each other more succinctly than words ever could. It was enough to turn her knees to jelly before they’d even deepened the kiss, but still she needed more. Her tongue swiped across his bottom lip, wordlessly seeking entry – but no sooner had his lips parted than a loud cough had them jumping apart.

Willy was adorably red-faced and guilty as he dropped his eyes to the floor. Ellen just looked annoyed.

“Evening Miss Hayes,” Willy’s grandfather said, greeting her with a tight smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “The jellies are better viewed from _outside_ the shop, in case you didn’t know.”

“Good thing I’m here to see Willy and not the jellies then,” she retorted, fighting to keep her tone even. It was no secret that the old man didn’t care for her, and frankly she wasn’t his biggest fan either. He had beef with her family over some ancient slight, and had taken it out on her for as long as she could remember. Not to mention it was his fault that Willy was never around anymore.

He hummed in bland agreement. “I should have known that the peace I’d had over the summer was too good to last.”

“C’mon Elle, the festival will be starting soon,” Willy interjected, taking Ellen’s hand and nearly dragging her outside before either of them could say anything else.

As soon as the door closed Willy sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose like he had a headache. It was enough to make her feel the slightest bit guilty. It wasn’t his fault that his grandpa was a prick, but he was the one suffering for it.

“Sorry.”

He waved it off and smiled, because that’s what Willy always did. Shoved down his own feelings so he wouldn’t burden anyone else with them. Ellen knew it wasn’t exactly healthy, but honestly she envied his ability to do that. Most of the time she was incapable of even keeping her mouth shut.

They walked hand in hand down to the far end of the pier, where none of the other villagers had set up camp yet. Ellen kicked off her shoes and rolled up her tights, letting her bare feet dangle off the edge to splash in the water below. It was colder than she expected, and she shivered as goosebumps rose up on her legs.

“Summer’s over, you know,” Willy said wryly, tugging off his jacket and laying it around her shoulders.

His smile was warmer than his coat, and Ellen couldn’t help but return it, leaning comfortably against his chest when he settled down behind her. “Gotta get you out of your clothes somehow,” she teased as he wrapped his arms loosely around her.

He chuckled, but they both knew she wasn’t really joking. Despite being an official couple for the last two years, and an unofficial couple since they hit puberty, intimacy was a milestone they hadn’t yet reached. They weren’t against it or anything, but there always seemed to be something stopping them from sealing the deal. Ellen didn’t want to until they were dating. Then Willy didn’t want to until she turned 18. Neither of them had any privacy at home. He was always out fishing. A dozen excuses that ultimately led to a level of sexual frustration no teenage girl should ever have to deal with.

Though that was going to change tonight, if her and her slutty skirt had anything to say about it.

It wasn’t long until the mayor pushed the illuminated boat off into the sea, signaling the beginning of the festival. This was her favorite night of the year, ever since she was a little girl. Something about the blue glow of the jellies spoke to her, calmed her heart in a way that she didn’t fully understand.

Ellen sighed happily as the first of the jellies approached, snuggling further into Willy’s embrace. He kissed the top of her head in return, catching one of her hands and threading their fingers together. The gesture brought back a sweet memory, and she smiled.

“Remember the first time you held my hand?” she asked.

“Mhmm. When the jellies first came out, right over there,” he said, nodding across the water to the pier on the other side of the beach. “I was so nervous that I thought I was going to throw up.”

Ellen giggled, tracing the veins on the back of his hand with her finger. “I could tell. The shaking kind of gave it away.”

“Hey, I was 15 and you were the prettiest girl I’d ever met. Cut me some slack.”

“ _Were_ the prettiest?” she said, faking a pout.

Willy rolled his eyes. “ _Are_ the prettiest,” he corrected, humoring her.

They watched the jellies in comfortable silence for a few moments before he spoke again. “Do you remember the first time you kissed me?”

“Yep. Two years later, on the beach once the jellies left. I’d been waiting for you to do it all night and finally said hell with it,” she recalled with a grin. “I thought everyone was gone, but my dad still lectured me about it for like a month. Never found out who snitched.”

“Probably Pierre, the ass-kissing little shit.”

“Probably. But you know…I’m 19 now. My dad can’t tell me what to do anymore,” she said suggestively, turning slightly in his arms to look up at him.

Willy cocked an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth twitching up. “And just where are you going with that?”

“Just saying, all of our firsts have happened on Moonlight Jelly nights. I was thinking that maybe we should continue tradition.”

He held her gaze, searching for some indication that she was joking, or teasing him. When he found nothing but sincerity reflected in her eyes, he swallowed hard before letting out a nervous little laugh.

“19 or not, you know if your pa found out I’d given you so much as a slap on the ass he’d have me swinging by my balls from the nearest pine tree.”

He brushed a lock of her hair back, and she bit her lip as his fingers grazed the shell of her ear and trailed down her neck. His eyes locked in on that little movement, pupils widening as the mirth in his expression was replaced with something darker, something yearning. For a second Ellen thought he might change his mind, but then he clamped his eyes shut, shaking his head slightly like he was clearing whatever thoughts had popped up in there.

“C’mon, I’ll walk you home,” he said, dropping his hand and standing up.

Ellen was glad for the darkness creeping in as the last jelly floated away. It hid her disappointment.

They didn’t talk much on the way back to the farm. Ellen wasn’t in the mood to make small talk, and Willy seemed distracted himself – or maybe just tired from his trip. The more she thought about it, the more she felt selfish for putting her own needs before his. He’d been living on a boat for 6 weeks, and she’d been more focused on getting in his pants than making sure he was okay.

She had already decided to apologize by the time they got to the big oak at the southern edge of her property, the landmark where they typically said goodnight. She’d say she was sorry and find out if there was anything he needed. Bring him a good breakfast from the saloon tomorrow, too. She had Caroline’s stupid baby shower to go to in the afternoon, but they could spend the morning together at least.

“Willy, I...” she began, stopping in front of the tree and looking up at him.

She didn’t have a chance to continue. His lips were suddenly on hers, urgent and demanding and full of so much need it stole her breath away. It took her a second to recover from how abrupt it all was, but when she did she was kissing him back just as fiercely. The months of longing burned inside her, and the moment his lips parted to deepen the kiss it exploded into an inferno. Her blood was boiling, nerve endings on fire, back pressed roughly into the tree behind her as they gave themselves over to their passion in a mess of lips and tongue and teeth.

When they were forced to part for air, Ellen opened her eyes to meet his half-lidded gaze, face flushed as he stared at her like she was the only thing he needed in the world. She smiled, knowing her face looked exactly the same. He was hers, and she was his. As long as they were together, she didn’t need anything else.

She pressed a soft, deliberate kiss to his swollen lips before taking his hand and leading him to the greenhouse.


	2. Heartache

Ellen yawned, stretching her hands above her head lazily as the first streams of morning light poured in through the greenhouse roof. Her body was sore, but in a pleasant way, like the aftermath of a good massage more than anything resembling pain. She nuzzled closer to the warmth of the sleeping man next to her, running her fingers down the soft skin of his chest, reveling in the feel of the solid muscles laying beneath. Only when she’d reached the little patch of hair trailing below his bellybutton did he finally stir, cracking one eye open to meet hers.

“You’re insatiable,” he muttered, the corner of his mouth turning up in a pleased smirk.

“Who, me?” she replied playfully, matching his smile with one of her own even as her fingers moved back up and away from their assumed target. While her body was certainly ready for Round...what, Four? - right now she wanted the presence of mind more than the pleasure of flesh. There hadn’t been much talking last night beyond moaned curses and breathy prayers, and after so long without him, she craved his conversation.

Besides, the only thing worse than her dad walking in on them naked together was her dad walking in on them actively having sex.

So she asked him about his trip instead, smiling contentedly as he told her about his epic struggle with a monster squid, and a new type of lure he found at a port town across the sea. She didn’t have any fondness for fishing herself – the few times he’d talked her into going with him had been 90% boring and 10% gross – but she loved how much he loved it. She loved the way it made him ramble, that bubbling excitement breaking through his typically calm demeanor.

She just...loved him.

“And then the idiot said squid don’t shoot ink, so I...” Willy trailed off, tilting his head curiously as if he’d just noticed something. “Why are you grinning like that?”

“I’m not grinning,” Ellen replied, though the tightness in her cheeks as she spoke made a solid argument that she was, in fact, grinning. He raised an eyebrow and she shrugged. “I’m just enthralled by your tales of ocean murder babe.”

“Uh huh,” he replied dryly. “Sorry, I guess I have been talking too much. So what’s been going on in the valley then?”

She wanted to tell him not to be sorry, that he could ramble on all day and she’d be content just to listen to his voice...but he looked genuinely interested in what he’d missed back home, so she obliged him.

“You missed the Stardew Valley Summer of Love,” Ellen snorted derisively. “Clara Mullner ran off with this douche from Greenfield, and George is endlessly bitter about it. Robin dated all four members of some metal band one after another, which was as ridiculous as it sounds. And Jodi got a pen pal, some dude in the army she’s _ooohh sooo in love with,”_ she finished with a roll of her eyes.

“Jodi’s like 15,” he noted, nose crinkling in disgust.

“I guess he’s a new recruit? She said he was only 18, so...” Ellen trailed off with a shrug. “Not like they’re getting married or anything.”

“Still gross,” Willy said, reaching out to tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear. “And what about you? What have you been up to?”

Ellen grinned suddenly, propping her head up on one elbow. She knew he’d ask, but it still made her giddy that he did. “I’m auditioning for a new show in Zuzu next week! It’s a vampire musical.”

He raised an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth tugging up in amusement. “A vampire musical?”

“Mark my words, vampire musicals are going to be the next big thing.”

“So, what, were you practicing last night or something?” he asked, tilting his head so she could see the faint bite mark she’d left at the junction of his neck and shoulder.

Ellen smirked, even as her cheeks flushed with a mixture of embarrassment and pleasure. “Maybe.”

“Uh huh. Still, Zuzu is a long drive,” he noted, furrowing his brow. “You should take someone with you. Maybe Robin? She’s into all that creepy stuff, isn’t she?”

Robin was certainly into all that creepy stuff, but…

“Actually, I was going to ask you to come with me. We could make a little trip of it, just the two of us,” Ellen said, tracing the lines of definition on his stomach with her free hand. “Hotel room, no parents...” she trailed off suggestively.

To her dismay, she did not receive the lecherous grin she was hoping for. Instead Willy frowned, looking off to the side like he was avoiding her gaze entirely.

“Sorry Elle, but I can’t. Pappy just got a big order in from some new company – Joja or something? Anyway, he needs me to go back out tomorrow.”

And just like that, all of her joy and contentment flew out the window.

Ellen pressed her lips together into a thin line, pushing herself up into a sitting position and crossing her arms. Whether it was a defensive or offensive gesture, she wasn’t entirely sure, but either way she felt like if she didn’t physically hold her breath in her lungs she would explode.

She knew it was all too good to last.

Willy’s expression twisted into one of guilt, and regret. “I’m so sorry baby. I want to, I really do, but...he needs me, you know?”

“So do I.”

Her tone was sharper than she’d meant it to be, but she couldn’t help it. He’d been gone for half the summer, and most of the spring, and even the damn winter when the seas should have been nothing but ice. He’d missed the Flower Dance, he’d missed her birthday, he’d missed countless conversations and stolen kisses and Yoba, the bulk of their relationship lately was her staring at the ocean, missing him back.

And now all she gets is two fucking days before he leaves again?

Willy sighed, running his fingers through hair that was permanently kinked from saltwater. He didn’t say anything else though, and for some reason that pissed her off further. He was abandoning her – _again –_ and he couldn’t even bother to acknowledge it. Couldn’t look her in the eyes and admit that she just didn’t rank high enough on his priority list.

To hell with him then.

Ellen returned the silence as she angrily tugged her shirt back over her head. She could feel Willy’s gaze, see him opening and closing his mouth uselessly from the corner of her eye, but she refused to press him for a response. If he had something to say to her, he’d say it. His complete lack of argument as she got dressed spoke volumes.

“Don’t let Dad see you leave,” Ellen said icily as she stormed out of the greenhouse, not bothering to look back.

 

* * *

 

Ellen kicked her chair back, staring blankly at the community center fish tank as she sipped a glass of overly-sweet, brightly colored punch. She had never been to a baby shower before, and based on how mind-numbingly boring this one was, she’d never go again. Stupid games, shitty food, and being forced to watch the town attention-whore open a thousand tiny outfits while a gang of old ladies _aww’d_ in synchronization.

She liked kids and all, but this was ridiculous.

To be fair, she would have been in a foul mood regardless. After kicking Willy out, she’d spent the entire morning sulking. She didn’t want to fight with him, especially over his asshole grandfather, but she’d hit an emotional breaking point. She loved him more than anything, but she just couldn’t live like this anymore.

It was wrong to wish death on someone. Bad karma. Ellen would never do it, of course. But if the old bastard just so happened to keel over tomorrow…

“Psst, give me your cup,” Robin hissed in her ear, breaking Ellen from her darkening thoughts. Ellen compiled, watching gratefully as Robin produced a flask from her jacket and made the punch something worth drinking.

Ellen took a sip, coughing as the liquor burned her throat. “Damn. You’re not messing around with that stuff, are you?”

“Need something to deal with Caroline. Apparently letting a guy nut in you makes you a goddess of fertility or something,” Robin said, rolling her eyes as she spun a chair around backwards and straddled it. “Though getting knocked up by a wizard has to give you some kinda powers right?”

“Yoba, I hope not. She’s insufferable enough as it is,” Ellen replied, taking another long drink of her punch. “Pierre is an idiot for staying with her.”

“Yeah well, guess he figured if he can’t have you...” she trailed off, eyes narrowed in wry amusement.

Ellen groaned. Pierre had harbored an unfortunate infatuation with her throughout high school, despite being told repeatedly and in no uncertain terms that she wasn’t interested. Even when she and Willy became official, he’d still pursued her – well, up until Willy stepped in and tested those boxing skills Pierre was so proud of.

Hint: they were exaggerated.

“Aw Robin, leave her alone,” Jodi cut in, dragging her own chair over and taking a seat beside them. “Ellen’s obviously having a rough day.”

Leave it to Jodi to notice. That girl had too much empathy for her own good. Ellen sighed as the two of them watched her expectantly, waiting for her to spill what was bothering her.

“I’m fine. Just had a fight with Willy this morning, that’s all.”

Robin raised her eyebrows. “Already? Didn’t he just get home yesterday?”

“Yeah, and his grandpa is already sending him back out tomorrow,” Ellen said dismally. “Then he’s gone again, for who knows how long this time.”

“So tell him to say no,” Robin said immediately. “It’s not his job to run the family business just cause his old man’s sick.”

“He thinks it is. And at the end of the day, the business is more important than me. That’s why we fought.”

Robin was silent at that, and Jodi put her hand on Ellen’s shoulder. “Did he actually say that?”

“Well no, but...” Ellen sighed. “It’s just, he’s been gone so much lately I feel like we don’t have a relationship anymore. He’s the only reason I’m still in this town, and he’s not even here. It’s like, why am I even bothering, you know? If he doesn’t care why should I?”

As the words tumbled out of her mouth, it dawned on her what the real issue was. It wasn’t that he was gone so much – that sucked, but they could work around it. It was that without him, she didn’t have a future here. Being stuck in this town waiting for him, when all she wanted to do was act...it killed her. Her hopes and dreams were dying every single day. How much longer would she be able to put up with it?

She could be happy here, if he was beside her. But he wasn’t.

“You need to talk to him,” Jodi said sagely, once again acting like the mom of their group despite being the youngest by far. “Tell him his actions are making you feel like you don’t matter.”

“Guys don’t understand that shit,” Robin interjected, unscrewing her flask and taking a swig right from the bottle. “Look Elle, you wanna be an actress, right? Well you can’t do that here. And if you don’t want to be here, and Willy isn’t going to be here...”

Ellen shook her head, denying Robin’s words even though deep down she knew they were true. “So what, I should just leave him? You know I can’t do that.”

“Why not? Plenty of fish in the sea, no pun intended,” Robin said, shrugging. “I get it, you’ve been together forever, but he’s not making you happy anymore. So find something else that makes you happy.”

Ellen stared at Robin for a long moment, before looking to Jodi for backup. Jodi was soft-hearted, surely she’d understand that it wasn’t so easy, that love changed things. But to her dismay, Jodi was looking back with reluctant agreement written all over her face.

“Maybe just...tell him you’re thinking about leaving. See what he says?” Jodi offered. “Maybe it’ll help him realize he needs to change.”

Robin nodded. “Give him an ultimatum. He either has to make staying here worth it, or you’re leaving. You can’t waste your life on some guy Ellen.”

Ellen felt like she was going to vomit up the stale cookies and booze punch sloshing around in her stomach. Spending her life with Willy wasn’t a waste – it was what she’d always wanted. She couldn’t image a life without him in it. But...she was living that life right now, wasn’t she? And it was miserable.

She was miserable.

The sound of people clapping grabbed their attention before Ellen found the words to reply, and the three girls turned to see Pierre strolling in. He looked confused by the applause – as was Ellen – but continued to where Caroline was, apparently intent on picking up the gifts she’d been opening.

Ellen didn’t miss the look of annoyance on Caroline’s face as she shooed Pierre away, whining that she wasn’t done opening presents. That girl really couldn’t stand giving up the spotlight even for a second, could she? Pierre looked around awkwardly, clearly wondering where he was supposed to go, before his gaze landed on her.

“Oh, great. Thanks Elle,” Robin said sarcastically as Pierre approached, grinning.

“I never asked for this,” she replied, turning to their unwanted guest. “What do you want Pierre?”

He affected a fake pout. “Aw, don’t be like that. Everyone else clapped for me you know.”

“Yeah, cool. Didn’t realize knocking someone up was worthy of applause, but there you go.”

“Or _not_ knocking someone up...” Robin snickered under her breath.

Pierre’s grin faded momentarily, before twisting into that infuriating smirk he always wore before he said something shitty. “Anyway, I just wanted to let you know you have a little something showing,” he said, touching his throat in demonstration. “I’m sure you wouldn’t want your father seeing hickeys on your neck.”

Despite Pierre being a complete ass, he had a point. “Oh. Thanks,” she muttered grudgingly, retying her scarf to cover the evidence of last night.

“Of course. It’s a shame your boyfriend never learned to be discreet,” he said, his smirk widening. “Guess he never needed to be in the ports.”

Ellen’s eyes snapped to his, narrowing in anger. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“I mean, everyone knows what sailors do on shore leave. Drink and fuck.”

“Fuck off, Pierre.”

Pierre shrugged lightly, affecting a look of concern that would almost be believable, if his eyes weren’t dancing with glee. “Come on Ellen, don’t be so naive. He spends months on the ocean, completely alone. It’s enough to make anyone look for some... _companionship.”_

Robin stood up, looking far more imposing in her leather jacket and boots than a small town girl had any right to. “She said fuck off,” she growled, taking a meaningful step towards him.

Ellen wanted to laugh at the way Pierre flinched at her unspoken threat, skittering off like the rat he was – but she couldn’t. His words had sparked something in her, some hidden insecurity that she didn’t realize she had. In Pelican Town, it was a given; he was hers, no one questioned it. But out there...

“Don’t let him get to you,” Jodi said softly, rubbing a soothing hand over her back.

Ellen nodded, forcing her cheeks into a fake smile and pretending everything was fine, even as her thoughts began to spiral dangerously. Willy was so handsome, tanned and muscular...other women were bound to have approached him at the ports. He was a fit young man with needs of his own – needs that, for various reasons, had not been fulfilled with her up until last night. Had he been looking for release elsewhere? Is that why he was always so eager to get back on the sea? He could do whatever he wanted, with whoever he wanted, and she’d never know...

She crossed her legs, and the pleasant soreness between them suddenly made her heart ache. No. Not Willy. He wouldn’t do that to her. He loved her.

Just not enough to stay with her.


	3. Goodbye

Willy stood behind the counter of his shop, systematically piecing together new lures for his upcoming trip. It was easy work, something he’d done so many times before that he didn’t have to put any thought into it at all. Which was good, because he didn’t have a thought to spare. They were all tied up with Ellen.

She was right, of course. He knew that. He knew he’d been away too much the last year, that it wasn’t fair to her, that she deserved better. He wanted to give her better. He wanted to give her the world.

That’s why this was so hard for him. What Ellen didn’t realize is that he was doing all of this for her. Working his youth away to build up the business, so that he’d be able to provide for her when he took it over. Give her the security to follow her dreams, and give him the opportunity to be there while she did. This latest Joja deal was a huge win for the shop; if he played his cards right, he could probably afford to hire another angler soon. Then he’d be able to work the shop instead of the sea, and spend his nights with Ellen.

And after last night, he was categorically desperate to spend more nights with Ellen.

He’d never imagined it could be that good – and Yoba knows how many times he’d imagined it. She was so soft, so warm, her body fitting together with his so perfectly he’d swear they were made for each other. He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it – about swallowing her soft whimpers as he lost himself in her heat, of bringing her to the edge over and over until she wore the dazed flush of a woman fully sated. Now that he’d finally had a taste of her, he was starving for more.

 _But not for another month,_ he reminded himself gloomily, narrowly missing his thumb as he jammed a spinner onto a hook.

The inside door that connected the shop to their apartment swung open, and his grandpa hobbled out, face scrunched up in the frown he never seemed to lose these days. He’d never been a particularly happy-go-lucky fellow, but growing up he’d at least be good for a joke or two. Now jokes were off the table entirely, along with appreciation of food, hobbies, interests...basically any kind of joy whatsoever. Willy knew the old man was in pain, but it still ate at him to witness the depths of misery his illness had driven him to.

He was just waiting to die.

“Afternoon Pappy,” Willy said lightly, forcing a smile to his lips. It wasn’t returned. His grandfather grunted in response, slowly making his way across the shop to settle heavily into the rocking chair in the corner.

“I picked up a new technique for making these,” he continued, holding up one of the lures. “If you stick a piece of colored foil on before the tab it catches the sunlight when it spins. Really gets their attention.”

His grandpa glanced at the lure impassively before turning back to the door, and Willy fought the urge to sigh. He hadn’t expected praise, but acknowledgment would have been nice. Not like this was the first time, though. He hadn’t even acknowledged the massive haul Willy brought in yesterday, or the sack of cash from selling overseas. He barely acknowledged his existence anymore, except to give him his next orders.

It was lonely. And Willy was so, so tired of being lonely. Ellen was the only light in his life these days, and he never even got to see her. For as much as she missed him, he’d bet his next catch that he missed her more. So many long, dark nights had been spent laying awake, imagining her voice in the crashing of the waves, her face in the stars above him. Wondering if she was smiling, happy. Wondering if some other man was making her that way.

He couldn’t do it again, he realized with a start. Not now. He needed...he needed time with her, time to socialize, to talk with people about anything other than business. He couldn’t spend his life on a boat, when he had a life here he wanted so badly he could taste it. It wasn’t fair to him. It wasn’t fair to _her._

The Joja deal was big, but there would be others later. Right now he needed to be home.

“Pappy, I...” he began hesitantly, rubbing the back of his neck. He was never good at saying no to the man. Taking a deep breath, he decided to just go for it. “I can’t do this next job.”

That got his attention. Crinkled eyes settled on him, weary but still sharp as the edge of a blade. “Why not?”

“Because I just got back, and...I just need a break. I’m going crazy out there by myself all the time,” he said, deciding it was probably better if he didn’t bring Ellen into it. Somehow he imagined his grandpa would be less than sympathetic, considering how little he cared for Willy’s girlfriend.

The older man’s eyes narrowed. “You’ve never had a problem before. So, what, you spend one night smashing pissers with the Hayes girl and now you can’t stop?”

Willy blinked, feeling the blood rushing to his cheeks despite himself. “Wha...how...”

“I’m old, I’m not blind,” he grouched, shaking a hand dismissively. “I don’t care what you do, so long as you keep our shop going. We need this job.”

“There will be other jobs,” Willy argued. Sure, the Joja offer was huge, but their terms were incredibly demanding. He wasn’t sure he could even pull off the haul they were asking for in the time provided. “I don’t feel good about this one.”

The old man stood, shuffling over to the counter to put one bony hand on Willy’s shoulder. “Boy, this is the biggest opportunity our family has had in the five generations we’ve owned this shop. I know you won’t throw our legacy away so easily. I raised you better.”

The words hit hard, and Willy dropped his head in defeat, knowing he was powerless to deny him. His mind flicked to the mermaid pendant tucked away in his room, waiting for the day when he’d be able to fully devote himself to the woman he loved.

He’d take this one last job – and then he was going to marry Ellen.

 

* * *

 

Willy tipped back his beer, sighing as he stared at the door to the saloon impatiently. She’d be here soon enough, he told himself – she had to go to that baby shower, then help her pa with the planting – but every minute he had to wait was one less he got to spend with her before he left. Precious seconds to tide him over for the next month of loneliness.

A crazy thought crossed his mind – what if she came with him? The boat was big enough for two, and she’d always wanted to travel. He could take her to his favorite towns along the coast, to that tiny island with the white beaches. Just the two of them, together.

He dismissed the thought almost as soon as it had formed, taking another swig of his beer. He wasn’t going on some luxury cruise. If he was going to make his deadline, he’d have to have a rod in the water from dawn til dusk and then some. It was going to be nothing short of grueling. There would be no time for sightseeing or enjoying each other. Besides, she had that audition, and who was he to ask her to give up her ambitions for him? He couldn’t even manage to give up this one trip.

Yoba, he hated this.

The sun had just begun to set when the door to the saloon opened with a loud jangle, and Willy would have sworn the room itself got brighter. Ellen had that power to her, this undeniable charisma that poured off of her in waves, sucked him in completely with just a glance his way. He’d never had a chance but to love her.

Her lips turned up in a smile as her gaze met his, but it was muted somehow. She looked tired. He reasoned that it was the lack of sleep and manual labor that did it, but the twist in his gut as she crossed the room said there was more to it than that.

Willy wrapped his arm around her waist the moment she sat down, pulling her close to kiss that inscrutable smile. He was relieved to find she relaxed into it right away, her lips soft and yielding. He'd been worried that she would still be upset over their argument earlier, but the way she kissed him back said that it was all water under the bridge, and he was once again thankful that his girl wasn't the type to hold a grudge.

All too soon he felt the compulsion to pull back, however, conscious of the fact that they were sitting in full view of the rest of the bar. Everyone knew they were together, but public displays still made him uncomfortable.

“Hey,” she greeted him simply, her cheeks an alluring shade of pink. He couldn’t help the small grin that spread across his face, knowing that he was the reason for it.

“Hey. How was the shower?”

Ellen rolled her eyes, flagging down the barkeep for a drink of her own. “It was an exercise in self-indulgence that I’m never repeating again. Not even for my own kids.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“You’d better. Someone’s going to need to stick up for my wishes on this. Yoba knows Jodi and Robin will just do whatever the hell they want,” she said with a laugh, taking a sip of the beer placed in front of her. “So, what were you up to while I was trapped at Caroline’s circle jerk?”

Willy snorted into his glass. Ellen never was one to mince words, but he’d bet that particular euphemism came from Robin. “Nothing as exciting as all that. Took a nap, did some laundry. Made a few dozen new lures.”

Her smile faded as she looked down, running her finger along the rim of her glass. “Getting ready to go, then.”

The flatness of her voice sent a stab of pain through his chest, even as he couldn’t deny her words.

She lifted her glass, downing the rest in several large gulps. Wiping her mouth on the back of her hand, Ellen stared into the receding foam for a long moment before turning back to him, eyes filled with resolve.

“Can we go somewhere to talk?”

The walk back to his place was quiet, and filled with trepidation – from his side, anyway. He didn’t know what was going on in Ellen’s head, since she kept her face blank, not giving anything away. It worried him. She was usually so easy to read, with those expressive eyes and heart on her sleeve. When had she learned how to bottle everything up so well?

She stayed that way until they reached the shop, passing through and upstairs to his room. Pappy was in his own room, thank Yoba – he really wasn’t in the mood to deal with any arguing between those two tonight. Willy closed the door behind them as she flopped down on his bed, scrubbing her hands over her face before turning to look up at him.

“I love you. You know that right?”

“Yeah...” he replied warily, legs stiff as he took a seat beside her.

“I love you so much. More than anything. And that’s...that’s why I need you here. With me.”

Her voice sounded so small in that moment. He reached out, cupping the silk of her cheek with his chapped hand. She leaned into his touch, not seeming to care how rough it was. How such a gorgeous creature could have fallen for him, he’d never know.

“I love you too. And I promise, I’m going to be around more. Things are just...with Pappy sick, I...”

“I know,” she interrupted, grabbing his free hand with both of hers. “I know it’s been hard for you. But it’s been hard for me too, and...I just can’t take it anymore.”

She sighed heavily, averting her eyes. “I don’t have anything here but you, Willy. I can’t...I can’t just keep waiting forever. It’s tearing me apart.”

“Not forever,” he argued, lifting her chin until she met his gaze again. He needed her to know this, to understand. “I promise, Elle. Things will calm down soon, and when they do I’ll make it so you never have to wait again.”

He thought again of the mermaid pendant, nestled safely in the top drawer of his dresser. He could give it to her now. Wipe away that sorrow on her face, see her eyes light up when he asked her to be his wife. But no – that wouldn’t be fair to her. He couldn’t propose to her, then leave her for a month. She deserved better than a fleeting moment of joy.

“Please...” she choked out, swallowing hard against the lump in her throat. “Please stay.”

He looked down into those eyes, glassy with unshed tears, and wanted more than anything to say okay. Instead he leaned in and kissed her softly, letting his lips speak all the words he wished he could, to beg her forgiveness and promise her their future. She kissed him back and he drank in her sorrow, her heartbreak. It killed him to know he was the reason for it, but this is all he could give right now. His heart, and his promise.

He felt moisture on his cheek and pulled back, wiping away her tears with his thumb. “Don’t cry,” he murmured. She smiled ruefully, running her fingers through his mess of hair as she leaned up to kiss him again.

There was desperation in the way they touched each other, from the sloppy movements of their lips to the way they clawed each other’s clothes off, but it wasn’t just fueled by pure lust. It carried an undertone of suffering, of words needed but unspoken, of the agony of goodbye. Willy ran his hands over every inch of her body, memorizing the way she felt under him, the way she tasted, the way her eyes darkened when he touched her just right. She hadn’t closed them – even as she writhed with pleasure she kept her eyes focused on him, like she didn’t want to miss a single expression that flitted across his face.

It was the single most intimate moment of Willy’s life – but when it was over, he felt like sobbing.

Morning came too soon. Willy gazed down at the sleeping angel in his arms, every fiber of his being protesting as he carefully slid out of the bed so as not to wake her. It was selfish of him to not give her a chance to say goodbye, but they had said all they needed to the night before – and truth be told, he was afraid if he looked into her eyes, he’d lose his resolve.

Willy pressed a soft kiss to her forehead and, with a final glance at her sleeping face, turned and walked away.

The bed was empty when Ellen woke up. Her brain tried to tell her he’d just went to the bathroom, or grabbed a drink of water...but the cold sheets on his side told another story. Her legs felt like lead as she forced herself to stand, to walk to the window, to look out at the harbor where his boat was no longer tied up. To admit he had left her.

Ellen’s eyes dulled as she stared out at the expanse of perfect blue before her, an all-consuming emptiness settling in.


	4. Grief

The Fall Festival was happening on the day Willy returned to Pelican Town, and the crowds and music only seemed to add to the lightness in his chest. He’d fulfilled the Joja order flawlessly, and even earned a lofty bonus for a couple of Super Cucumbers he’d managed to nab. He finally had enough capital to hire another angler, and maybe even expand the business if things went well.

More importantly, he’d be able to keep his promise to Ellen. The mermaid pendant in his pocket seemed to burn a hole in his leg as he searched the town for her, his excitement and happiness threatening to burst out of him at any moment.

The crowds were large this year, and he weaved through them impatiently. Eventually he spied Robin leaning against the side of the saloon, laughing with a guy who had more metal in his face than skin. Her smile faded as he approached, however, and after she said something to him the man left.

“Hey Robin,” he said, his own smile intact. “Have you seen Ellen around? I can’t find her.”

Robin bit her lip, looking uncharacteristically nervous. “Hey Willy. I uh...did you just get back?”

“Yeah, about an hour ago. You’re the first familiar face I’ve seen – well, except Pierre,” he amended, scrunching his nose in distaste.

Robin didn’t laugh. Instead she fidgeted with the zipper of her jacket, silently avoiding his gaze.

Willy finally frowned. This was so unlike her. “So uh...do you know where Ellen is?” he asked again.

“She’s...” Robin trailed off. She sighed, looking back up at him with a strange mixture of pity and frustration.

“Ellen left Pelican Town last month. She said she’s not coming back.”

The air exited his lungs painfully, eyes wide with shock and horrified understanding. He’d been too late. She was gone, and she’d taken his entire world with her.

He turned wordlessly, numbly walking back to the beach and the ocean beyond. Standing at the edge of the pier, Willy’s fingers brushed against the seashell in his pocket, and he allowed the grief to take him.


End file.
